这篇雅思作文可以得几分?请大家点评一下.Some people said the government shouldn’t put money on building theatres and sports stadiums; they should spend more money on medical and education. Agree or not agree? I think the government

这篇雅思作文可以得几分?请大家点评一下.Some people said the government shouldn’t put money on building theatres and sports stadiums; they should spend more money on medical and education. Agree or not agree? I think the government
这篇雅思作文可以得几分?请大家点评一下.
Some people said the government shouldn’t put money on building theatres and sports stadiums; they should spend more money on medical and education. Agree or not agree?

I think the government should balance the budget and spend more money onto the recreational facilities’ investment such as building new theatres and sports stadiums.

There are two reasons to support my point of view. One is that the entertainment services like theatre ,stadium or game center etc, release people from high pressure daily work. This can reduce mentally problems of citizens in the modern society, which if handle with carelessness ,will also lead you to hospital. Second, entertainment service is a key part of the service industry and the service industry plays a more and more important role in the national economy. That means it will also support to build more medical and education facilities.

And contrarily, with the speedy development of economy, many basic facilities of modern society like hospital and school have already been built these years and many old hospital and school are also upgraded. They are good both in qualities and quantity.

In the word, it is time to shift the budget and resource to some other areas, which can drive the development of economy. And as the result, you will get more money to build a new school or a new hospital.

这篇雅思作文可以得几分?请大家点评一下.Some people said the government shouldn’t put money on building theatres and sports stadiums; they should spend more money on medical and education. Agree or not agree? I think the government
5.5-7 都有可能.楼主自己写的吗.很好啊
词汇比较丰富 有些拼写 比如 etc.没加" ."
表达 比如 recreational facilities’ investment =习惯上说 the investment of the recreational facilities’
没太多模板痕迹非常好.
逻辑清晰.但是雅思作文打分现在太严 低至5.5是太低了.7分的话就是运气了.建议可以更加深入扩展,比如举例子,数据.还有更深入的让步反驳,比如如果把钱都花在基础设施建设上有什么不良后果.