帮我批改下个人雅思作文It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents.for instance for sport or music ,and others are not .However,it is cometimed claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports persom

帮我批改下个人雅思作文It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents.for instance for sport or music ,and others are not .However,it is cometimed claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports persom
帮我批改下个人雅思作文
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents.for instance for sport or music ,and others are not .However,it is cometimed claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports persom or musician.
discuss both these views and give your own poinion.
个人习作：
There is not a unanimous consensus on which is more important for one to get successed on a certain domination ,talent or skills.
Someone hold the opinion that talents play a more pivotal role on one's way to success.To begin with,individuals who own the certain gift on one certain area may learn faster and more compared to their counterparts,which can make them more confident and a happier mood for their following work.On the second place,as Albert Einstein once said that "Intersst is the best instructor"people who got the very talent probably gain more pleasures which can in turn give them more motivation and enthusiasm on their job.
However others think that hard work can make up one's shortage of the talent.There are also tons of examplicatins ofto support this perspective,such as Helen Keller who was born whithout eyesight i.e.totally blind,but with her continually struggle with the unfair fate,she finally make it to be a renowned writer.Anyway,most of of the ordinary individuls are lack of the struggling spirit,they often give up onthe half way to be successful,one crucial reason to this issue is that they are not abound of the interest that can escort them to the very end,which means they do not possess the sufficient talent which is the generator of interest.
So,everyone was given the certain talent by the maker .Cherish the gift and choose one job that you really want to do.No matter how tough it is,try your best and insist on ,which ,I think is the most valuable and meaningful conclusion for this topic.

帮我批改下个人雅思作文It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents.for instance for sport or music ,and others are not .However,it is cometimed claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports persom
你的语法功底和文字功底都不错,写出来的文章可读性非常强,而且文章里面用了很多的从句,这个非常好,本来应该可以得7分的高分,但是有一些问题需要注意一下.首先,像这种题,在开头段里面最好表明自己的观点,对于标题上提出的两个观点,自己支持哪个,开头段一定要说明,第二个问题,这种题型一定要选择其中一种观点去支持,比如本题,到底是天赋重要还是后期 的勤奋重要?自己一定要选择好一种观点.不要让人看了半天都不知道你支持哪种,或者两种都支持,这是很不好的,一定要改正,如果你能把这两点都改好了,文章就真可以得到较高分了!