英语作文求检查修改This cartoon graphically portrays a scene that various people are fascinated with their online life.What makes the picture intriguing is the fact that these people are isolated from each other with small rooms,facing to the

英语作文求检查修改This cartoon graphically portrays a scene that various people are fascinated with their online life.What makes the picture intriguing is the fact that these people are isolated from each other with small rooms,facing to the
英语作文求检查修改
This cartoon graphically portrays a scene that various people are fascinated with their online life.What makes the picture intriguing is the fact that these people are isolated from each other with small rooms,facing to the screens individually.(这里我想表达的是面对着自己的屏幕,这里屏幕用单数还是复数?）It seems that they would like to talk online(online到底是形容词吧?我这样用对的吗?）,rather than face to face.
Simple as the picture is,its subtle connotation endeavors to inform us that due attention has to be paid to the issue of communication over the Internet.On the one hand,online communication is set to become an essential feature of individuals' life.It comes no surprise that a vast majority of people are indulged in communication over the Internet,considering the great pleasure and convenience it brings about.Online talking,as a means of communication,shortens the distance between people,which,many believe,is one of its apparent advantages.On the other hand,some viewing online talking as a curse of morden life,for it has bred a society which is ruthless and relentless.
Truly,apart from those benifits,internet communication might have its drawbacks.But in is my view that.

英语作文求检查修改This cartoon graphically portrays a scene that various people are fascinated with their online life.What makes the picture intriguing is the fact that these people are isolated from each other with small rooms,facing to the
This cartoon graphically portrays a scene that various people are fascinated with their online life.What makes the picture intriguing is the fact that these people are isolated from each other with small rooms,facing to the screens individually.(复数,因为是复数）It seems that they would like to talk online(online可以作副词用）,rather than face to face.
Simple as the picture is,its subtle connotation endeavors to inform us that due attention has to be paid to the issue of communication over the Internet.On the one hand,online communication is set to become an essential feature of individuals' life.It （is） no surprise that a vast majority of people are indulged in communication （on）the Internet,considering the great pleasure and convenience it brings（去掉about）.Online talking,as a means of communication,shortens the distance between people,which,many believe,is one of its apparent advantages.On the other hand,some （views） online talking as a curse of morden life,for it has bred a society which is ruthless and relentless.
Truly,apart from those benifits,internet communication might have its drawbacks.But in is my view that.

仅供lz参考，把可能需要修改的地方用（）标示了，后面有理由，希望帮到你。
This cartoon graphically portrays a scene that various people are fascinated with their online life.What makes the picture intriguing is the fact that these pe...

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仅供lz参考，把可能需要修改的地方用（）标示了，后面有理由，希望帮到你。
This cartoon graphically portrays a scene that various people are fascinated with their online life.What makes the picture intriguing is the fact that these people are isolated from each other （with）换成in会比较好small rooms, facing （to the screens individually）换成facing their own screens屏幕用复数可以的.(It seems that they would like to talk online rather than face to face.)这句建议修改成 It seems that they would rather talking online than talking face to face. 因为rather than跟在would后面这样用更加顺畅些，online的用法是对的哦。
Simple as the picture is, （its subtle connotation endeavors to inform us that ）这句表达有些中式了哦，因此用词有点重复，建议改成 it still illustrates that ...当然如果lz想保留原词，那就需要改成 it endeavors to inform us the connotation that ...
(due)可以去掉 attention has to be paid to the issue of communication over the Internet. On the one hand,online communication is set to become an essential feature of individuals' life.It comes no surprise that a vast majority of people are indulged in communication over the Internet,considering the great pleasure and convenience it brings about.Online talking,as a means of communication,shortens the distance between people,which,many believe,is one of its apparent advantages.On the other hand,some viewing online talking as a curse of morden life,for it has bred a society which is ruthless and relentless.
Truly,apart from those benifits,internet communication might have its drawbacks.But in is my view that.........................

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