求修改 我写的四级作文,希望可以帮忙修改一下,1高中毕业后先工作在上大学的好处2高中毕业后先工作在上大学的敝处3我的看法My viewon work experienceNowadays ,more and more senior school students prefer to

求修改 我写的四级作文,希望可以帮忙修改一下,1高中毕业后先工作在上大学的好处2高中毕业后先工作在上大学的敝处3我的看法My viewon work experienceNowadays ,more and more senior school students prefer to
求修改 我写的四级作文,希望可以帮忙修改一下,
1高中毕业后先工作在上大学的好处
2高中毕业后先工作在上大学的敝处
3我的看法
My viewon work experience
Nowadays ,more and more senior school students prefer to go to woke rather than go to college ,Along with streams of adult in factory ,you can find the increasing number of senior student choose to having a woke when they graduate from school.
Wore after senior school realy have their advantage .The bigest one is doubtlessly its experience in the society which doesn't learn from school ,Besides ,they can earn some money no matter for himself or his faimly .However,just as every coin has two sides ,the disadvantage aspects of woke first have also apprent .Firstly ,senior school students are too young to adapt circumstance of audlt .Secondly ,there will no chance for you if you want to go to school again .lastly ,in a competing society a low license will not have more opportunates to obtain a well-paid job in the future .
As far as i am concerned ,i am in favour of senior school students should go to college first ,when you graduate from university you can find a job and have a good job .

求修改 我写的四级作文,希望可以帮忙修改一下,1高中毕业后先工作在上大学的好处2高中毕业后先工作在上大学的敝处3我的看法My viewon work experienceNowadays ,more and more senior school students prefer to
第一段
1. senior school students 是高中在读学生；students who graduate from high school 是高中毕业生,或者索性就用 young adults/young people.
2. woke 拼写有误,应该为work.
3. choose to having a woke 改为choose to find a job.
第二段
1. Wore after senior school realy have their advantage.（上文已经提到的错误不再赘述）
应该为Choosing a career after finishing high school's study really has some advantages.
(注意主谓一致, 这个属于严重语法错)
2. 注意big的最高级要双写g,the biggest;
3. just as every coin has two sides 已经被用烂了,不要再用了；非要用的话这个也比前者好一些,即double-edge sword 双刃剑.
4. the disadvantage of attempting a career life is apparent.
( 谓语动词是is不是have/has, 这句话是主系表结构,xxx是显而易见的.)
5. adapt circumstance of audlt. 改为 adapt to the harsh realities of the world.
(adapt to sth, harsh 残酷的)
6. low license --> low degree, opportunates --> opportunities;
总结：1.注意主谓一致的问题,主语是不可数名词或是动名词谓语动词要用第三人称单数（一般现在时）；2. 单词拼写问题要注意.3. 不要凭空创造句子,尽量写读过背过的句子或表达,拿不准的宁可写简单句,不要写复合句.4. 题目扣得很好,如果解决了上述细节问题,将是一片非常不错的四级作文.5. 另外开头结尾一定好好写,more and more 就别再用了,the increasing number of students xxx 就好很多.
补充两点：一楼说的some不能修饰如money一类的不可数名词不正确,some后接不可数名词,可数名词复数都可以,不要被误导啊!
二楼所说的写作不要用第二人称you,说得十分正确!尽量使用第三人称,如they.