请问这篇托福文章写得怎么样,As the world is developing ,technology today has advanced so fast.Although some people hold the opinion that children become less creative because of technology,it is better for children to be creative under su

请问这篇托福文章写得怎么样,As the world is developing ,technology today has advanced so fast.Although some people hold the opinion that children become less creative because of technology,it is better for children to be creative under su
请问这篇托福文章写得怎么样,
As the world is developing ,technology today has advanced so fast.Although some people hold the opinion that children become less creative because of technology,it is better for children to be creative under such advanced technology circumstance.It is evidenced by spending more time thinking new ideas,deep understanding and broadening horizons.
One of the main reasons that children turn out to be more creative today is that advanced technology has saved children a lot of time to tackle some fundamental issues.Children will obtain more time to think about other ideas.Particularly,students will waste much time when they process data into diagrams using traditional ways as past in a chemistry class.Today computers can help them finish this fundamental issue,and children naturally spend more time discovering potential information in these diagrams.So children are creative due to the technology today.
Furthermore,children can gain more opportunities to touch new things as technology develops.For instance,students can see many movies about processes occurred in animals in a biology class,which will help them understand better about the knowledge.Only under such incisive understanding conditions can children find out other aspects undiscovered in the past.In such case,it is obvious that the development of technology really contributes to the creativity.
Finally,there are many inventions in life accompany the advance of technology.These different kinds of inventions can broaden children’s horizons,in turn children may become interested in creating new things.For example,as the astronomy technology develops,the new technology can be applied to ordinary life.Children will have opportunities to get touch with these inventions and become desirable to create more advanced equipment.
For the reasons mentioned above,we can safely come to the conclusion that children today are actually more creative than they were before.I think creativity can be inspired by the development of technology.

请问这篇托福文章写得怎么样,As the world is developing ,technology today has advanced so fast.Although some people hold the opinion that children become less creative because of technology,it is better for children to be creative under su
开头很好,最好可以用真实例子来论证的,比如说报纸上看到的一些真人真事关于科技如何使人们更有创造力.否则全部都用假设性来说没什么说服性.结尾可以再细致点.总体来说是很不错的.