雅思作文求点评打分写的今年10月27号的题目“广告使人们越来越相似,同意或不同意.”没敢用太高级的词,怕出错.希望多说说文章结构和论点上怎么样.In this day ,the advertisement is providing a increa

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雅思作文求点评打分写的今年10月27号的题目“广告使人们越来越相似,同意或不同意.”没敢用太高级的词,怕出错.希望多说说文章结构和论点上怎么样.Inthisday,theadvertisementis

雅思作文求点评打分写的今年10月27号的题目“广告使人们越来越相似,同意或不同意.”没敢用太高级的词,怕出错.希望多说说文章结构和论点上怎么样.In this day ,the advertisement is providing a increa
雅思作文求点评打分
写的今年10月27号的题目“广告使人们越来越相似,同意或不同意.”
没敢用太高级的词,怕出错.希望多说说文章结构和论点上怎么样.
In this day ,the advertisement is providing a increasing significant referance in people's decision making.Some people assert that people have lost themselves and became more and more similar due to the advertisement .I agree with it (to some extant)
It goes without saying that people would rather chose the goods they have heared about before than something totally new.For this reason ,the products which are advertised can get much more users than others (unless the product is much worse than the description in advertusement.)For instance ,Iphone ,which can be found erery streets and offices ,is no doubt that have a successful publicity system.
In addition ,the advertisement can transform our standards of aesthetics and guide the fashion style .When a company encourages the public to buy its product ,it may try it best to define their goods as "stunning" and "gorgeous".Peole adopt this product,in the meanwhile they adopt a new standard of beauty and change themslves to the appearance advertisement provides then they get similar.
It is worth mentioning that while some benifits are brought to sellers from this phenomenon,a number of nagetive influences ,however ,appear.Firstly,the diversity of society may be weaken.Moreover ,with the growing consumption ,the price of this product may have a unreasonable enhancement.
In short,people truely get similar because of the ever-accelerated advertisement market,but wether it is a good deed or a curse depends on what attitude people adopt toward it.

雅思作文求点评打分写的今年10月27号的题目“广告使人们越来越相似,同意或不同意.”没敢用太高级的词,怕出错.希望多说说文章结构和论点上怎么样.In this day ,the advertisement is providing a increa
In this day =>In these days.指的是最近,不是今天
a increasing significant=》an increasingly significant 注意两个形容词不能连用
注意检查拼写和其他语法.
总体来说写的还是流畅的,意思表达清楚了.
结构上来说,大体是三段式,没什么太大问题.
论点上来看,第二段第三段建议仔细修改一下,并不是每句话都在论证人们变得相似,有些句子说的是广告商怎么怎么,但是没有强调影响.可以在斟酌一下.第四段论点也不太集中,先说减少了多样性,然后又说东西变贵了,这个与主题关系不那么密切.

6-6.5 个人感觉拼写有错误

In these day ,the advertisement is providing an increasing significant reference in people's decision making.Some people assert that people have lost themselves and became more and more similar due to...

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In these day ,the advertisement is providing an increasing significant reference in people's decision making.Some people assert that people have lost themselves and became more and more similar due to the advertisement .I agree with it (to some extent)
It goes without saying that people would rather chose the goods they have heard about before than something totally new.For this reason ,the products which are advertised can get much more users than others (unless the product is much worse than the description in advertusement.:what do you want to express here??)For instance ,iphone ,which can be found every streets and offices ,is no doubt that have a successful publicity system.
In addition ,the advertisement can transform our standards of aesthetics and guide the fashion style . When a company encourages the public to buy its product ,it may try it best to define their goods as "stunning" and "gorgeous".People adopt this product,in the meanwhile they adopt a new standard of beauty and change themselves to the appearance advertisement provides then they get similar.(????)
It is worth mentioning that while some benefits are brought to sellers from this phenomenon,a number of negative influences ,however , appear(???).Firstly,the diversity of society may be weakened.Moreover ,with the growing consumption ,the price of this product may have an unreasonable enhancement.
In short,people truely get similar because of the ever-accelerated advertisement market,but whether it is a good deed or a curse depends on what attitude people adopt toward it.

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雅思作文求点评打分写的今年10月27号的题目“广告使人们越来越相似,同意或不同意.”没敢用太高级的词,怕出错.希望多说说文章结构和论点上怎么样.In this day ,the advertisement is providing a increa 跪求高手帮我的雅思作文点评打分,重点是打分这是我第一次写作文,囧.题目是老题:In some countries young people are engouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.Di 雅思大作文 打分以及点评.谢谢.1 呕心沥血写的雅思大作文,请名师高手点评打分,感激不尽popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe 求从今年1月到上周六的雅思大作文题目2011.1月到2011.2月的,具体的,雅思大作文题 求一篇写人的作文600字加点评 雅思小作文两篇 自己写的 请各路大神给打个分吧!各种点评和意见都欢迎 求雅思10月9号的预测 怎样写对作文的点评 怎样写好作文的点评 写人的满分作文带点评 托福写作和雅思写作大小作文各个部分是怎么打分的,评分的标准怎么换算? 2011.2月的雅思小作文是什么? 雅思菜鸟,今年12月17日考雅思.现在只剩下两个月时间,自己准备但是觉得毫无头绪,求2个月的雅思复习规划雅思菜鸟,今年12月17日考雅思.本人现在大三,四六级已过(跟雅思完全是两个概念), 求初二写人满分作文!一定要是写人的!加点评! 2014年9月27号雅思大作文discussion,argumentation,report考哪种类型雅思A类的, 借物或景抒情的作文 / 600~800字 还要点评~一定要 点评 点评 点评 点评 点评 点评 写关于今年10月1日的作文拜托各位大神