帮忙改雅思作文!顺便打个分!Some people believe that to improve public health governments should increase the number of sports facilities; others believe that it has little effects and need other measures to improve public health.Discuss bo

帮忙改雅思作文!顺便打个分!Some people believe that to improve public health governments should increase the number of sports facilities; others believe that it has little effects and need other measures to improve public health.Discuss bo
帮忙改雅思作文!顺便打个分!
Some people believe that to improve public health governments should increase the number of sports facilities; others believe that it has little effects and need other measures to improve public health.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Health issues have puzzled governments and publics for a long period of time.Recently,some people suggest that more sports facilities should be built up by governments for the purpose of enhance health condition of public,whereas,others who against this proposal deem that it just have minimum helps for the improvement of health of public and insist that government need to seek other approaches to accomplish the task.In this essay,both viewpoints will be discussed.
In many developing countries,such as China,although the authority exert itself to increase the number of sports facilities and equipments in community,but still barely could fulfill the needs of the whole society since its tremendous population basis.A large proportion of people share one facility at the same time make the majority have little time to do exercises.Therefore,the government of China should inject more financial support to the construction of sports facilities so that more public could benefit from it.
However,the circumstances in some developed countries are just opposite.Many,if not most,these countries often equipped with ample sports facilities and with enormous sports centre which is free of charge.While,continually boost the amount of sports facilities will do thing but will be considered a waste of money which from either the government that with limited budget or the taxpayers that have heavy pressures on their shoulder.Since other methods should be took in account by the public to strengthen their health conditions such as regular and health diet,or by government to improve the quality in health care centre and complete the welfare system.
Personally,I think that different countries should take different measure in order to improve the condition of health of public.For some relatively poor countries,increasing the number of facilities may be more helpful.For the countries which have had enough facilities,they should pay more preoccupations on promoting the ideology of healthier lifestyle.

帮忙改雅思作文!顺便打个分!Some people believe that to improve public health governments should increase the number of sports facilities; others believe that it has little effects and need other measures to improve public health.Discuss bo
十月初打算考雅思,考个5.5己经满足了,我按着相同题目也练了
和lz比较一下
To improve public health become the paramount issue recently .Opponent go agaist built more sport facilities to economize the expenses.However,proponent hold the different views on that.This complex phenomenon have positive and negative aspect which need to be analyed respectively.On my own perspective,i inclined government have to cast more investment for the improvement of public health.Those resons are presented below.
Firstly,improving public health can enhance the quality of the populace life,the citizens don't have to suffer epidemic diseases usually.Due to the case of malady have been reduced,government can curtail expenses colossally on builting hospitals,clinics and health centres so that the treasury become wealthy to ensure government have enough money to develop another relevant things
secondly,the dead rate become more minimal,the human resources become more prosperous.As a result of improving public health,the quantity of infirmity will be diminished,that can help the society increasing the population,as the same time,the GNP also grow benifit from the the rise of population
However,the investment is prodigious because improving public health need to cast a large amount of money on sport facilities.The consequence is the financial pressure will be imposed either government and taxpayer.
Take into account all these factors,we may reach the conclusion that to improve public health is inevitable and requisite.The society have to pay heed to the popualce whether they have hearty body to resist diseases.On the other hand,government should be circumspect to control the spending of public health in order to eschew the economic crisis happened

some people 少用啊，少用。
others ? 想想别的可以表示反对者的词？
deem ahi猜测，既然是另外一种观点，就不能是如此软的词，比如argue ? 是不是好些？
minimum? limited 是不是要好些？
help or helps ??
to improve 更加有力。
insist ? 在考虑考虑？
In c...

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some people 少用啊，少用。
others ? 想想别的可以表示反对者的词？
deem ahi猜测，既然是另外一种观点，就不能是如此软的词，比如argue ? 是不是好些？
minimum? limited 是不是要好些？
help or helps ??
to improve 更加有力。
insist ? 在考虑考虑？
In community? community 是说人类社群，类似于society,考虑考虑别的词。
啊 ，没时间该语法拉，哈哈哈 ，不过有些小建议，嗯，多记记单词，还有具体的意思，英文学术写作很严谨，雅思也是学术写作的一种。而且，要记住，英文写作的格式是，段首句说这一段的意思，后面2句解释段首句，再有一句补充解释，最后一句总结本段过渡下一段。百试不爽！ 祝你雅思过关。可以给你5.5-6.。。。。 不要用那些奇怪的生僻词，考官并不喜欢。

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